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Lancashire Cricket Board - Woe is me – where have they all gone
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Woe is me – where have they all gone

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Gentlemen of the world we must rise up against the foes

Should I be controversial or should I not.


Who are “they”?? I will tell you. The foes we need to battle against are those who have done little over recent days other than besmirch their duties and behave disgracefully as professional sports people.


First off it appears we have a ship’s captain along with a good many crew members who made their escape and left others to look after themselves. Secondly we have players in the aptly named El Classico between Madrid and Barcelona on Wednesday night behaving in a manner which should embarrass them. El Capitano looks doomed but I bet those extremely expensively paid superstars will continue to cheat and bleat their way on our TV screens almost with impunity.


I read somewhere in the last few days that the oft quoted “Women and Children First” in this age of equality should no longer apply. Any decent member of the male fraternity who goes along with that wants sorting.


Last night in the Classico I watched one player go down after a clash holding his face as though he had just received a blow from Ali when he was at his best. He went down like a lead balloon and remained down for a couple of minutes rolling around clutching his face. The game had to be stopped before he climbed slowly to his feet. The slow motion replays showed that his opponent’s hands went nowhere near his face at all. Not more than ten minutes later after a melee when his opponent was on the floor the self-same player stamped on the other player’s hand. Now the Spanish league may pick up on that but will they bother with the other. This is but another example of the way in which gamesmanship in the guise of sporting activity is damaging the very fabric of our society.


I used to have a saying when I was at school when dealing with incidents. “Tell the truth now and the outcome will not be half as bad.” A good many of my pupils would often recognise the good sense in doing just that. Nowadays it is rare to find anyone who will tell the truth.


Enough controversy. I might find myself being encouraged to become a politician.


Although actually I would find it hard to be a politician and a gentlemen as well  – I would rather be the latter, and I would encourage others to join me.


What has been happening cricketing wise. In my last Blog I mentioned the fact that granddaughter Sophie had been to the Under 15 County Girls trials last Sunday and I thought she had done rather well. I was chuffed to get a phone call from her yesterday to say she has been invited to the Squad Sessions through to April along with 21 others. She will still have to up her game further but well done Soph.


I emailed Letters and Forms to all my District Contacts this week inviting Nominations for the new Under 10 County Boys team. I still do not rely totally on emails and today I posted the same letter with additional forms to those contacts that provide me with addresses. You know there is a certain percentage that relies completely on emails.


Now my readers – do any of you want to buy a zoo??  The good lady was up early this morning checking her iPad to see if she had been allowed an extension to her zoo. She had !!! This Zoo is now almost as big as Blackpool Zoo and could soon be giving London Zoo serious worries. Not only is Sophie helping develop this zoo but Thomas was at it over the weekend as well. I suppose whilst she is being a Zoo entrepreneur I am being spared that noisy, repeated game she played before the arrival of the iPad.


Tomorrow sees something different. Philip along with many of his friends from the infamous Totty Conservative Club is going to an “Elvis Tribute” night at the Palace Theatre in Manchester. Now in all the time I have known him my son has never shown the slightest interest in anything to do with Elvis – so I am puzzled. I am presuming there may be the possibility of alcoholic refreshment involved. My understanding is that the group is travelling by tram. I have just been watching Look North and it seems trams are breaking down with great regularity at the moment. Might not be a wise move.


Mind you the regulars at this establishment have become famous for doing the unusual. This year is the first year for some considerable time that the annual visit to Cowdenbeath has not been on the agenda. The focus of attention was of course the Football Club. Many moons ago during a casual conversation it was suggested that instead of supporting the big clubs in the Premier League their thoughts should go out to the less fortunate. The most unfortunate team at that time was bottom of the Scottish League system and was Cowdenbeath. Several weeks later a coach full of “lunatics” headed north to watch the “Beath” and stay for the weekend to sample Scottish hospitality. Over the years they became celebrities in the town and welcomed by the football club and its supporters. Sadly the long association seems to have come to an end for now.


We are back to normality on Saturday with the Shakers at home for the second Saturday in succession. Yeovil Town are our opponents. I bet they do not bring as many as came from Sheffield last week.


I have let my good friend and past fellow batsman, Nigel Warne, have a look at my Ebook on the History of LSCA. Not sure it was a wise move. You know he has Salford running through him like a piece of Blackpool Rock. He has already reminded me about a famous Hacking Cup Final that I have not included. This took place in 1976 between Burnley and Salford. I do actually remember it because for a variety of reasons it was not played until October 2nd at St. Andrews CC in Burnley. You will realise of course that he would not have raised this fact had Salford lost. His little note to me said, “Salford 107 for 7 beat Burnley 37. The Salford team contained England wicketkeeper Mark Wallwork, Richard Savage and David Ainsworth. It rained throughout the game.” Bless him. Just to gain even further credence he slipped in the fact that in 1976 a certain Andrew Hayhurst played for Salford Under 13.


I take it all back. I have just received an email from Nigel with some minor errors spotted that I can correct. He concludes with the phrase “Other than that, an impressive document”. Phew.


Time for a Tesco Moment.


I thought the missus might have a problem with me taking the mickey about her zoo. Not so. This is getting me worried.


Definitely time for a Tesco Moment.

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