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Lancashire Cricket Board - Apologies for the paucity of my Blogs
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Apologies for the paucity of my Blogs

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This of course relates to the frequency and not the quality

Before explaining the many reasons for this paucity I must explain the image above. There are many honours to be won from within the LCB system and I was honoured to receive the Special Recognition Award at the OSCAR’s. Mind you that has not helped sales of my book at all. When I visited the LCB Offices this week  and received the doffed caps of those wearing them I was most astounded to find that I had made my way onto possibly the most important list in the LCB world. This is the one which sits over the brewing up area and details the drinking wishes of the LCB inner sanctum. There was my name albeit bottom of the list: John Heaton – Coffee, Milk and a half a teaspoon of sugar. Fame at last. There was no mention of Tesco Moments though. This accolade I can now add to another where I found my way on the Office Cartoon Board. This explains the mug shot above. I have no idea who concocted the cartoon but I feel the underlying “the heat is on” came from Mr Titch. I did actually take a picture of this said gentleman on one of my visits to a multitude of grounds recently and he does not look Titch like any more. I promise not to publish this in return for an LCB Polo Shirt that fits.


Where was I.


My last Blog finished with me looking forward to a day at Headingley with the U17’s. This was on Star Date 17th July, 2012. I have not been to this ground for some years and I must say it looks great. That is apart from the Star Ship Enterprise (New Pavilion) which has replaced the top end of whatever used to be there. I managed with expert support from Mr “Bob” to locate the dressing room area. Quite splendid I thought. I then went out into the “Away” Viewing Area!!! This is what you could possibly say was a bit of a design error. I would estimate that if four Ian Botham’s and maybe two Andrew Flintoff’s were in there then everyone else would not have a chance.


I cannot possibly detail all that went on from by away day in Yorkshire. Best just to do a sort of diary.



Under 12’s v Lincolnshire at Scunthorpe Town CC

Journey through thunder and lightning

Sun in Scunthrorpe

Game won but Tom triggered.


19th July TIE ON

U11’s v Notts at Greenmount

Horrible weather

Start first 20/20 in coloured clothing (training tops).

Rain wins

Heaton Mobile Catering Service wins further plaudits.


Same day – Under 13 v Cumbria OFF and Under 14 v Derbyshire OFF.


20th July GRANDAD DUTY (Sophie)

Under 15 Girls v Staffordshire at Newton le Willows

Nalisha inspired victory.


21st July

The Mount are due to play arch rivals Walkden.

Phone call changes duties for the day as Tom has been promoted into 2nd XI.

His father will now lose some parental support.

He actually opens the batting as a 12 year old, survives 10 overs scoring 9 runs.

He then takes the catch of the day – not my words.


22nd July TIE ON

Down to sunny Cheshire to watch the Under 11’s. Much spluttering all around about the batting but many of these lads have been paddling rather than playing any form of cricket.

We end up with a good win.



Long trip to Masham in the company of Sophie. Under 15 B game v the Yorkies. My SatNav was a mess but we located this delightful ground in North Yorkshire. Sophie was with me as we were going to have to leave mid-afternoon to travel to Newton le Willows for a training session. Her scoring prowess came in to favour as she was gently persuaded to score the first innings.



Under 17’s v Derbyshire at Maghull CC and the arrival of the Incredible Hulk rather later that anticipated. (See early story). John Stanworth was having trouble with his wi-fi. During my visit to Merseyside my mind was a little here and there on account of the fact that our U12’s were playing Yorkshire at Chorley and I knew a certain younger Heaton would be involved. I will say no more than my journey from Maghull to Chorley mid-afternoon was punctuated with minute by minute texts from Mrs H Junior. We beat the Yorkies again racking up the double in 2012 and Tom was top scorer with 34.


25th July TIE OFF

Under 15 Girls v Derbyshire are Unsworth CC.

Both the good lady and the second most important Zoo Keeper in attendance. Yet another win. Sophie extended her wicket taking prowess and now has four plus she took a catch that would have drilled a hole in her otherwise. The highlight of the day was Emma Lamb’s 103 not out. This was a super innings and well done Emma.


26th July NO TIE DAY

This was a day off to a certain extent although with the Heaton Junior family off to Warwickshire for an U12 match then the text “ping” sound was one to be listened for. In the end helped by the younger Mrs Heaton’s EyePhone Text Ability we were taken though another victory for the U12’s. Five matches played  = four wins and just one defeat and the double over Yorkshire.


As we progressed to this weekend events got even more complex


27 July

To Leyland CC for South Ribble U13 v Bolton. I delivered the Balls and saw the game start.

Meeting at Headquarters with the Incredible Titch.

Sophie to Wigan for U15 Girls Training.


28 July

PJH at Kearsley – 49 not out and 5 fer – Rain and no result

TJH at Greenmount – 12 runs, 2 catches and a win and very little rain.



To Farnsfield CC for U15 v Notts and the need for a win.

Mission accomplished.

Magnificent ton from Haseeb supported by Josh and Tuna.

Good moments and not so good moments as we bowled but Callum P. took for 4 for 21 bowling SPIN to help secure the important win. Two games to go and things are looking good


Back home the heavens opened and the Mount’s attempt to retain the Hamer Cup was washed out. Battle will recommence next Sunday.


The next couple of weeks are even more complicated. The TIE ON and TIE OFF references are quite simple. If I appear at an LSCA / LCB match with my TIE ON then I am ON DUTY. If I have not got my my TIE ON then I am on GRANDAD DUTY, or I have just forgotten MY TIE.


Malvern College NO TIE this coming week.


Kings College, Taunton NO TIE the week after beckon.


The OFFICIAL bit can wait.


I most definitely need some Tesco Moments.

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